By Patrick Ogunnaike
Whichever way you look at it, surviving a break up is never easy. Ending a serious relationship will always lead to one or both parties getting a broken heart which often lasts for months perhaps years. So to help ease the pain of breaking up with your girl, here are a couple pieces of sound advice that will hopefully help you survive your break up in one piece.
Before the Break Up
There will come a time that you will notice that there is something different about your girl, this sudden change will often be enough for you to draw the conclusion that your girl will be leaving you soon. To help you prepare and lessen the hurt that will invariably come, here are the things that you should do:
– Don’t break up with her first just to not lose face. This is an act that only cowards do, just so they can brag to themselves that they were the ones that dumped the girl and not the other way around.
– Don’t start seeing other people right away. If you’re still unsure as to where the relationship is going, then you still have obligations to your girlfriend.
– Talk. If the problems are too big to fix, then talking with your girl is the best and least painful way you can end your relationship. This way the break up will be mutual rather than you getting dumped.
This is the part that a lot of men dread. This is when emotions will be running high, and if you lose your cool then you are in for one nasty break up. But if you play your cards right and ask the right questions, then there may be a way you can save the relationship or at least make your separation civil. Here are some suggestions on what you should ask your girl when you two are breaking up:
– What can we do to make this work?
– What cant I do to make things between us better?
– What’s the reason why you’re doing this?
Remember that even though you do not have her anymore, at least you still have your dignity.
Surviving And Thriving After The Break Up
This is where it gets really tough. A lot of emotions will try to get out of your chest all at once; there’s sadness, feelings of guilt, self-pity, and a whole lot of anger. It will take a while for these feelings to subside but while you’re working through it all, here are some things that you can do:
– Don’t lose hope: Remember that you will survive. You had a life before her and you’ll have one long after her. Understand that she wasn’t the right girl for you and she actually did you a favor by leaving.
– Don’t bottle things up: Make sure you have a support system, friends or family, that you can talk to or spend time with. If you try to be a hero and keep everything to yourself you’ll probably find yourself obsessing about the relationship and it’ll take you twice as long to get over it. You may end up doing something stupid or reckless.
– Improve yourself: Now that you’re newly single, you have more time to yourself. Why don’t you use that time to do things that will help you grow as a person. Work out, get some new cool clothes, read some personal development books, not only will that increase your confidence it’ll make you more attractive to other girls. It may also have the side benefit of making your ex regret the decision she made to let you go.
– Don’t rush into a new relationship: Go out and have fun you should even have a fling or two as part of your rebounding process but don’t go jumping into a new relationship just to forget the old one. You’ll just end up doing to some innocent girl what you ex did to you and that isn’t right.