Dating 101: Be It and They Will Come (no pun intended)

dating tips
By Patrick Ogunnaike

When it comes to success in dating most guys focus on superficial tricks and techniques and don’t have the guts to look at the heart of their problems.

No matter how good your game is, eventually, most women you’ll want to spend more than six sober hours with will become interested in more than just how much cash you carry, the ride you roll in, or style you rock and questions about who you are and what your beliefs, goals, and plans are will inevitably creep up.


So you’ve got some important questions to ask yourself like…

Who am I?
What do I really want?
What value do I bring to my relationships?

Yeah, I know heavy questions and they’ll take more than a second to answer.

As a man, your key goal in life should be do your best to stomp out uncertainty and insecurity. But first you need to start by really learning what those are for yourself first. Ask yourself what you’re really looking for, and answer honestly.

Whether you’re ready for a relationship, looking to get laid, or dating to kill time, there are enough women out there to suit whatever it is that you’re looking for. Any one of them is cool, but it’s important to know who you are and what you want before you get out the gate, so that you don’t waste someone else’s time or worse, have them waste yours.

dating secrets If you’ve seen a consistent pattern of dating disappointments and disasters, it might be easy to try and deflect blame onto factors beyond your control. But it’s a bit like being a drug addict, going to the same hangouts, being around the same people and temptations and complaining that all you ever meet are drug dealers and users.
Even the worst accident can happen once or maybe twice, but when you’re the only person on scene at a string of dating crime scenes you become the prime suspect.

There’s a saying, “where you go, there you are.”

You have to start asking yourself what signals, signs, and intentions you’re putting out there. You’ll attract the same. If you’re a commitment-phobic jerk with low self-esteem and a huge chip on his shoulder, don’t expect the perfect 10 you’re looking for to fall into your lap.
Instead, focus on learning and growing as a person. Travel to become worldly and rich in your experiences. Learn how the world works, socialize and talk to people.

This means extending yourself beyond the borders of Facebook, getting out, and actually talking to new people, both men and women. Leaving the house and meeting people like they used to do in the good ol’ days of dating websites and speed dating is still the most effective way to do it.

If you’re going to delve into the world of online dating, you need hide of a rhino, savvy detective skills, and the ability to keep your wildest imaginations in check. Endeavor to gain valuable experiences with people you spend time with. As a result, that’s the only way to become a man of higher value.

Show respect for intelligence, critical thinking, and character, because that’s what you yourself are looking to build. If you have business interests, network like it’s going out of style and offer something of value. Increasing your social intelligence cannot be over-emphasized. It enriches your life and opens many doors. Pursue happiness and live life with a passion and that will dominate in everything you do.

Most importantly, make an effort to really live your life in alignment with what you claim to value.  When you’re good at being a good man, you’ll naturally radiate confidence, power, and super sex appeal, because you won’t be faking a thing.

Also, don’t be a douchebag. Don’t rag on chicks when they won’t sleep with you. Don’t ditch out on your guy friends. Don’t spend from here to eternity trying to recreate or maintain a ‘persona’ or performance of your best self. It’s exhausting, eventually fades, and is just generally bad for business all around.

Probably nothing is more attractive to women than a man who is competent at being a man. Be a leader, learn to take charge, and be the alpha dog. Have ambitions and lofty goals. Never settle for mediocrity. Don’t forget to be vulnerable and show emotion when it’s right, otherwise you’ll risk coming off as a cold and calculated robot.

This process will be the hardest task you’ll ever undertake, the good news is that it gets easier every year and you have your whole life to accomplish it.